There are lots of things that run through my head, before, during, and after a first date. These are just some of them.
Before
· Do I look okay?
· Will he like my curves?
· Will he be anything like his profile?
· What if he sees me and leaves?
· Do I let him pay?
During
· Am I talking too much?
· Why is he so quiet?
· I feel like this is a job interview.
· Do I mention my dysfunctional family?
· Don’t mention insecurities, don’t mention insecurities…
· Man I shouldn’t have said that.
· Do I let him pay?
Immediately After
· Will I ever hear from him again?
· Did he like me?
· Did I like him?
· How long should I wait to hear from him before I give up?
Three Days After
· Why haven’t heard from him?
· I must have really screwed it up.
· I didn’t think that much of him anyway…Did I?
· What’s wrong with me?
· What’s wrong with him?
I keep thinking that the more I “practice” the art of first dates, the easier it will get. I’ve been dating for well over 10 years, and I have to be honest; it doesn’t seem to be getting even the slightest bit easier.
Of course there is always a positive side. I have found that I am a bit more desensitized when it doesn’t work out. I’m much more willing to say “There just wasn’t any spark.” The thing I’m working on now is when I do see potential in someone, I have to be patient and “ride the wave”.
As my grandmother used to say “Que sera sera…Whatever will be, will be.” I have to relax, stop jumping to conclusions, and let the chips fall where they may. But I can’t continue to fold. The risk will be worth the reward someday soon.
