Questions that perplex me...

Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I have been known to examine things a bit too thoroughly, but I still have questions that leave me bewildered.

·       What is it about so-called “bad boys” that makes them so attractive? Is it because you never know where you stand with one? Maybe they make you feel more normal?

·       Why do people focus on the positive things in their past relationships and the negative things of current ones? Seems kind of backwards to me.

·       Why do people always want what they can’t have? But the moment they get something, they’re not sure they want it anymore. Um…I got nothin’…

·       Why are men attracted to “damsels in distress” and the drama that comes with them? Life doesn’t need to be so complicated. There should be balance in a relationship.

·       Why do men/women who have been cheated on in the past, turn around and become the “other man/woman”? Baffles me, for sure.

·       Is it really possible to be polyamorous? Or do people use it to get away with something?

·       Is there such a thing as a bisexual man or is he just gay? Could he just be gay and adventurous?

·       Why are so many men obsessed with cars and motorcycles? These things don’t appeal to me at all. A man getting a good deal on a purchase – now that’s hot!

·       Does a “friends with benefits” relationship EVER turn out well? Hell no!

·       Why do people forget all the negative things in past relationships and remember them as being great? Obviously they weren’t great or their relationship would still be going on.

Obviously, the answers to these questions are subjective and are based on individual experiences. I would be interested to hear your responses as well as other questions that perplex you.

This week's winner for best username goes to...

manlymale4u

I understand that people try to be witty but really?

DO’S AND DON’TS DURING THE FIRST MONTH OF DATING SOMEONE NEW

The following is a list of do’s and don’ts of dating someone new. Everyone is different so think about what you might put on your own list.

DON’TS

·       Be flakey. Make decisions and stick with them. Do what you say you’ll do.

·       Tell them about your desire to get married and have babies.

·       Talk about your past relationships. Have the conversation at some point but not at the beginning of a relationship.

·       Go to a bar/club with their friends. You may not like what you see, especially if ample amounts of alcohol are involved.

·       Spend too much time together. Take your time getting to know them but don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Anticipation is a good thing.

·       Make an effort to introduce your date to your parents. Make the first month about developing your relationship.

·       Go on vacation together. You may plan it and pay for plane tickets, but it might fizzle out before you get there.

·       Move in with them. Hard to believe, I know, but people do it.

·       Make excuses for bad behavior.

DO’S

·       Be creative when planning dates. Step outside of the typical dinner and a movie and try something new.

·       Have fun. It’s new and stress should be minimal.

·       Remember the first couple of dates may be awkward as you feel each other out. Give them a chance (at least two dates).

·       Meet the friends. You can learn a lot about someone by meeting their friends.

·       Allow yourself to be a bit uncomfortable. They may surprise you or you may surprise yourself.

·       Remember that your dates don’t define you. A bad date does not equal a bad person.

·       Talk/ask about sexual history and testing.

·       Enjoy the “honeymoon” phase. Live in the moment.

·       Be honest with yourself. Trust your gut.

So what's on your list?

This week's winner for best username goes to...

InterstellaFella!!!

Need I say more?!

One thing I am most passionate about...

The winner of the week is...

creativity

Why yes, you've shown your passion for creativity in your ONE WORD ANSWER!

Come on people! Put some effort into it! One word is the shortest of short answers!

2011 Summer Dating Ideas

The following is a short list I put together to help you with date planning. These are just some of the great options for 2011 summer dating in Salt Lake City:

April 7-September 9
Salt Lake Minor League Bees Baseball Game
Spring Mobile Ballpark
77 W 1300 S, Salt Lake City
(801) 325-2273

Going to a baseball game on a date is a great way to get outside. The games are usually very exciting and you can share in the highs and lows of the game while you enjoy your hotdog and beer. Seats start at $12. P.S. Make sure you ask before eating someone else's peanuts!

All Summer Long
Liberty Park Picnic and Tracy Aviary Visit
589 E 1300 S, Salt Lake City
tracyaviary.org

Have a picnic in the park then stroll over to Tracy Aviary. Tickets for the aviary are $7.

June 11-October 22
Downtown Farmers Market
Saturdays 8 a.m. - 1 p.m.
Pioneer Park
300 S 300 W, Salt Lake City
downtownslc.org

Spend a Saturday morning at the farmers market at Pioneer Park. Support locals, eat some great food, and be sure to check out the crafts.

June 17-18
Utah Foster Care Foundation's Chalk Art Festival
The Gateway
400 W South Temple, Salt Lake City
ChalkArtFestival.org

Head to the Gateway and feast your eyes on some amazing chalk art while supporting a good cause. Grab a bite to eat, and if you're up for it, play in the fountain!

June 23-26
Utah Arts Festival
Library Square
210 E 400 S, Salt Lake City
uaf.org

Spend some time looking at some amazing art, listen to live music or poetry, do some crafting. This festival really has it all. You can spend hours making your way through the festival so make sure to slather on the sunblock and drink lots of water!

June 20 & 27, July 11 & 18
Monday Night Movies
Dusk to 11 p.m.
The Gallivan Center
239 S Main, Salt Lake City
slcgov.com/publicservices/gallivan

Head down to the Gallivan Center for one of their FREE Monday night movies. Grab some takeout on your way or visit the concessions stand. They will be playing all four Indiana Jones movies in order:

• June 20 - Raiders of the Lost Ark
• June 27 - The Temple of Doom
• July 11 - The Last Crusade
• July 18 - The Kingdom of Crystal Skulls

Since just about everyone has seen these movies, you don't have to focus too hard on the movie and instead focus your attention on your date!

To sum it all up:

When dating in the summer, get out and enjoy what Salt Lake City has to offer. Find activities where you can be playful. Find things to do that are unique; show your date how creative you can be!

Is your glass half empty or half full?

Dating in Salt Lake City can hit a broad spectrum of highs and lows. I seem to experience this roller coaster on a daily basis. The key is to find out how to keep your glass half-full no matter the ups and downs you experience. This is one of my many patterns I’m working on.

Monday morning I wake up hopeful. The weekend was great. Got lots of attention from the opposite sex… Felt desired and attractive… But as Monday goes by that feeling begins to fade.

I have always believed that you truly attract people in all aspects of life based on how you feel. Although I spent the latter part of my twenties with a wall around me (figuratively speaking), my comfort level has grown as I have matured. Although my own insecurities make appearances from time to time, I feel that I am much better equipped to handle a more serious relationship.

So after my weekend I felt like my glass was full. But minute by minute as my work day goes by, my energy level, along with my memory of my great weekend, begin to fade. My glass isn’t as full anymore.

After a long day in cubicle land, I get to go home. Now, I’ll be honest and say that I believe that I do a lot more personal reflection than I suspect most people do; at least to a stronger degree. So when I have time for personal reflection, my glass continues to empty.

Where does this self reflection take me?

·       I’m ready for something real! Why won’t anyone take on the challenge of having a relationship with me?

·       If one more person says “If you stop looking you’ll meet someone” I might lose my mind!

·       What’s wrong with me?

·       I’m giving up! Screw finding love and happiness. I’m going to the nunnery!

So what can I do to fix my leaky glass?

1.     I have to stop depending on others to fill up my glass! This is easier said than done, of course.

2.     I need to be present and live in the moment. There is plenty going on today so why worry about tomorrow?

3.     I will surround myself with friends and family that love me. I will not isolate myself.

4.     I will remember “The Fool” in a tarot deck. The Fool represents playfulness; he doesn’t let the real world distract him. I will let loose, have fun, and be silly.

5.     I will remind myself of these things when I start to slip!

What ideas do you have? When you start to see the glass as half empty, how do you combat it? Please share your wisdom with me and other readers!