Douchy Phone Behavior

The following is a list douchy phone behaviors to avoid when he enters into a new relationship:

1. Saving panty pictures from an ex.
2. Saving your sexy response to said pictures from ex.
3. Using a picture of your shirtless self as your lock screen or wallpaper.
4. Saving deep conversations between you and your last girlfriend.
5. A special ringtone for that special girl.
6. Booty calls/texts when the new girl is sleeping over.
7. Your match.com profile app logged in.
8. A text from another woman thanking you for dinner and meeting her parents. True story.
9. Referring to another woman by the same pet names that he calls you. Sweetie, Baby, Surfer Girl, WTF?
10. Sending the same picture of yourself to multiple girls you are 'dating'.

It is amazing what people use their phones for. All of the above came from real experiences.

Best username of the week goes to...

Jacuzziman

Are you trying to impress me or do you clean or sell jacuzzis for a living??

A Salt Lake City Single Woman’s List of Things That Must Go

When someone looks at you like there’s something wrong with you after you tell them that you are not married. I’m only 30 and it is perfectly acceptable that I’m not married!

Guys who use the f-word as an adjective.

The phrase “Nice guys finish last.” Advice for “nice guys”: Quit pursuing drama queens! P.S. This leads to nice gals finishing last too.

When a guy sends shirtless pictures of himself taken in the bathroom mirror to a GROUP of phone numbers.

Dates at Chuck-A-Rama, Golden Corral, or the like.

The Man-child. If you are over the age of 25 (and arguably before) you should NOT have a beer tower in the middle of your living room! **Slam to a guy I used to date**

Guys who can’t stop talking about their motorcycle or car. Doesn’t impress me at all.

When a date says “My ex was crazy!” I think this is more telling of the date than the ex.

When a new ex says “There are so many guys lining up to date you!” or “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone.” These are things only my girlfriends can tell me. From you, it’s just insulting.

Unrequested penis pictures.

Guys who show up for a date without showering first. After working on cars all day. Did I mention this was a blind date?

When an ex (who has seen you naked) says “Wow! You look like you’ve lost weight!” What are you trying to say about how I looked before?!

By the way, all came from real experiences of several single women in Salt Lake City.

Thanks to my amazing single girlfriends (Erin and Heather) for contributing!

-Meg in the Middle

Best username of the week goes to...

Mr_3_legged

Man, this guy's ego is GIGANTIC!

Thanks to Gen for pointing out this fine specimen.

Bst username of the week goes to...

FastestBeardInTheWest

I actually just think this is very witty. Oh and I love beardies ;-)

Stuck in the middle: How’d I get here?

When I look back on my life, I wonder how I ended up “stuck in the middle” and here is what I think happened:

I grew up in a very conservative LDS neighborhood, only I was Catholic. Not only was I the kid that was “going to hell” (thanks to all of you classmates that told me this *sarcasm*), but I was also “the girl with the crazy brother.”

Believe it or not, I was very religious in elementary and junior high school, unbeknownst to my classmates. I went to Catechism (Sunday school for the lay folks) and Mass every week; said my prayers every night; was baptized, received communion, and went through confirmation solidifying my place in the Catholic Church.

Although I had, and continue to have, a strong faith in something more than myself, I was still different than just about every other kid at school. Toward the end of my junior high experience, my brother’s rebellion had gotten worse. Not only was he “crazy” but he was also a “druggie.”

Somewhere along the road, I found myself identifying more with the outcasts than I did with those who were religious. They never told me I was a bad person or that I was not going to heaven or that my parents were wrong for voting for a democrat (true story). I wanted to stand up for “my people” because I have always known that despite their differences, they were still basically good.

In my late teens and early twenties I rebelled a little bit: hung out with the “wrong” crowd; made some poor decisions; learned a lot about myself and what I wanted out of life. Don’t get any crazy ideas: I still did exceptionally well in high school, never got into any trouble, even started college.

My rebellious phase lasted a few years, I had a lot of fun taking road trips to concerts, going on hiking/camping trips with very little supplies, staying up all night… My friends were accepting of me and I was accepting of them. But as time went on I realized that they weren’t growing or changing much. They seemed to be content with where they were in life.

As much as I loved them, I realized I wanted to learn and grow, so I made a conscious decision to change my own life even if it meant putting a strain on those friendships. I even tried to convince them to come along: try college, find a career, challenge yourself.

So who do I identify with now that I’m all grown up? I still find myself drawn to that end of the spectrum. But I am also better at recognizing my patterns and I know what healthy relationships look like. I will always be the first one to stand up for someone who is facing persecution no matter where they are on the spectrum.

Meanwhile, I am continuing to find all sorts of people that fall in the middle with me. I have an amazing group of educated, funny, and caring friends. When I think old friends, I miss them. I remember the laughter and the good times and I grieve for the friends that are no longer in this world.

Rest in Peace

Best username of the week goes to...

MagicMasterMike

Think he's a master magician?! I highly doubt it...