To Kiss Or Not To Kiss: Part II

Is it possible to go to a "lookout point" and not make out?! My friend "Jane" has the answer to that!

Meg: So...Did you kiss him? Did you go out with him again? My followers are dying to know!

Jane: Hellooooooooo! Yes I kissed him, but no spit was exchanged. I also had two glasses of wine, so my self control should be very impressive.

Meg: Wow! I am very proud of you!  How long did the date last? Did you do something after dinner?

Jane: He picked me up at 8:30 and I got home at 1:30.

Meg: He picked you up on a first date?! Soooo dangerous!

Jane: We went to the Porcupine, had a leisurely dinner and drinks, then went for a drive and ended up parking at some lookout point. I kind of felt like I was in high school! Haha!

Meg: Good thing he wasn't a homicidal maniac! So how is it that you went to lovers lane and you kissed him with no exchange of spit??

Jane: Self control! And avoidance! I could tell he wanted to full on make out, but I took control of the situation.

Meg: Wow! That is amazing! Was there a little Mini-Meg sitting on your shoulder?

Jane: Yep, it was the reporting pressure! And we went to a movie last night and there was still no kissing cuz I'm a coughing sickie. But there was hand holding and butt grabbing (with him doing the grabbing)… oooooh yeah!

Meg: Wow! So is there potential with this guy?

Jane: I think so! I think for the next month or two, he'll probably be in the rotation once a week cuz I'm in a place where I'm annoyed frequently and not too into dating and we're both busy. Maybe in July I will feel like dating more. But this guy is awesome, and such a catch. Hopefully he'll stick around in the rotation and wait for me.

Meg: For sure.

Jane: He told me I was the reason he signed up for “unnamed dating site” in the first place, cute huh! He got a free account and was looking around, and he saw my profile but in order to contact me he has to pay! Haha!

Meg: Nice!

The poll this week was whether or not it was appropriate to kiss on the first date. The majority of people said it is appropriate if it feels right.

To kiss or not to kiss?

The following is an instant message chat I had with a friend recently. She asked a simple question that turned into a great learning opportunity for her and me. I have changed the name to protect the innocent.

Jane: What are the rules for kissing these days? First date: yes/no? Short kiss ok, but no making out? Making out okay?

Meg: I don't believe in kissing on the first date, but really it depends on how many hours you spend on that date.

Jane: Aw, interesting formula. So how many hours deserves a kiss?

Meg: More than 4.

Meg: You figure a first meet-n-greet date lasts two hours, so a four hour date is like two dates, and kissing on the second date is acceptable :)

Jane: Ahahaha! I think a first date usually lasts all evening, from like 6 - 10 or 11.  Unless it's a coffee meeting, that doesn't count as a 'date' date

Meg: It's all a matter of past experience! I generally don't like to kiss on the first date because I don't want them to misinterpret my intentions. If you're looking to get down, then all of this goes out the window. Now if you add alcohol to the mix, it's a whole new ballgame and your intentions might change within a short amount of time.

Jane: True. What if I'm not down to get down but I want a smooch?!

Meg: Think of it from a man's perspective. If you lay one on him, how might he interpret that? I don't really know the answer to it but I certainly try to understand the male perspective.

Jane: But from my perspective, if he lays one on me - not trying to maul me, I interpret it as he's into me, and potentially brings us closer together?

Meg: There are lots of ways to tell if a guy is into you. It doesn't have to be a physical expression.

Jane: Ok, ok. So my goal for Friday is try not to kiss, or be kissed and save it for the 2nd date? Is the 2nd date appropriate?

Meg: YES!

Jane: Phew!

Meg: Not longer than 15 seconds though!

Jane: Hahaha OMG! Too many rules Meg!!

Meg: Hehe! They are not rules, they are guidelines!

Jane: Same shit!

Meg: Guidelines leave room for interpretation.

Jane: Will you come with me, and monitor my behavior?

Meg: Do you have a bluetooth? You can leave it in your ear and cover it with your hair!

Jane: And as soon as you talk to me and I’ll jump out of my chair he'll think I’m a 'PSYCHO'

Meg: The whole point of a first date is to make sure HE'S not a psycho.

Jane: So true!

Meg: You run the risk of ending up with a clinger/stalker if you plant a smooch on him too soon.

Humor aside, in all honesty, I think that if it feels right to kiss on the first date you should go with it. Just don't do it if it feels wrong. But if you’ve been drinking, even if it feels right, it is just wrong.

Jane: That is a very good politically correct answer. I try not to drink on the first date because everyone seems more awesome when I'm drinking. LOL! So that should be a rule too: No alcohol for first dates.

I mean a 'guideline'.

Meg: No that can be a RULE. I'm on a role, sorry!

Jane: I asked you because you’re the expert! We will have to analyze my date on Monday :)

Stay tuned to witness the exciting conclusion of this conversation!!