Sadly, I tend to consider myself cynical and jaded, although I also consider myself an optimist! Contradictory? Probably…
Cynical: Distrustful of human nature, doubting or contemptuous of human nature or the motives, goodness, or sincerity of others.
Jaded: To be conditioned against someone or something.
Optimist: One who usually expects a favorable outcome.
Is it possible to be optimistic, cynical, and jaded?! In this day and age, why not?! So what leads to hitting this point so early in life? As always, I have some theories and I LOVE to make lists!
Being cynical and jaded at an early age from a female perspective – A life cycle:
· Being teased by mean boys as a child. I remember every boy who was mean to me from kindergarten through junior high. You know who you are!!
· Being told repeatedly that men only want one thing and to always be aware of that fact. This message is heard well into adulthood. My dad is quick to remind me even still.
· Two words: High School! A bunch of hormonal teenagers striving to stand out in some way. School dances (none for me, never got asked), first dates (again, none for me), first boyfriend/girlfriend (man, this is depressing). High school can be a real nightmare in the world of a teenager.
· Life outside of high school. Optimism about the future, the world is your oyster! Dates, kisses, and boyfriends in your twenties: Oh my God, he likes me!!
· The dating pool is getting shallower in Utah by your thirties. Boyfriends in your thirties: Oh my God, do I like him?!
· After being in the dating pool for a while, you start to notice trends in the people you date. They’re too clingy and want to be around you too much, or maybe it is the opposite and they float in and out of your life of their own accord. Maybe they have the emotional capabilities of a 5-year-old. I could go on and on!
You get used to relationships starting out with lots of passion and excitement, but they fizzle out quickly. You begin to believe this is normal.
You experience a relationship that started slowly and the passion and excitement continued to build as time went on. Well there must be something wrong with him! This type of relationship is not normal! My, oh my, how bass-ackwards!
I remember as a kid, my mom telling me not to allow myself to get “desensitized” to relationships and love. I’d always say “Don’t worry Momma, I won’t.” It’s funny, I think the only way to avoid becoming desensitized is by becoming a nun, getting married right out of the gate, or locking ourselves in a tower.
Sorry Mom! It happened anyway. The good thing is that I am aware of it and I am constantly reminding myself that I deserve the whole loaf of bread, not just the crumbs!
So is it possible to be cynical, jaded, AND an optimist? YES! I believe that we are constantly evolving, learning more about ourselves and others, and that in spite of our jaded cynicism, we deserve good things and we’ll recognize and hold on to those good things someday!
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